Ponderings from Within

The insulin pump...tonight, it has failed me. 26.4 mmol. What the hell is that. I changed the infusion set before I went to work. I checked my BG at 10 and it was 15.7, threw in some units, checked it again at 12: 22.2, again at 130: 26.4. That's when I had to leave work and go home to change my set. Sonce then it has slowly made its' way back down. It's now 3:30 and 20. God do I feel like shit. Once again reminded of this invisible disease playing in my body. Back to Toronto next Wednesday for more laser surgery. I just can't seem to get away from this thing. Every time I think I'm leading a normal life it resurfaces and mocks me. It scares me to think of the years to come and what it is going to do to my body. It holds my sight in its' hands and I feel like I'm living on borrowed time; that at any time it could take that away from me. Going for laser surgery seems to be part of my life. I go, have the treatment, and leave, but why should that be normal for a 26 year old? I don't think it should be, Yet it is. This is the constant battle of the unseen, and it scares me.